JUST a bit of a foreword – I’m not sure how these posts are displaying in peoples’ emails. If you see seemingly misplaced numbers trailing words or punctuation in the email, odds are that number was intended to be superscript to indicate that there’s an end note associated with the previous point, and that you should now scroll down and read the aforementioned end note. If you see such numbers and they annoy you, you can open the blog post in your favourite internet browser0.1 using the link in the email, and the numbers should show up properly there.
The word “hack” has had many different meanings over the years.1 Originally and most commonly,2 when used as a verb, it was (and still is) used to describe the action someone would take when cutting wood, and is derived from a lot of different things.3 The noun, hacker, follows from this verb to mean somebody who hacks wood.4 Also probably following from the verb, a hack is either a tool which with a hacker may hack things or a person for hire to do routine work.5 Lots of new slang came of this, but most of it has since died out.6
Nowadays, “hack” is mostly just used to describe what somebody with questionable hygienic standards does with computers. At least that’s what I’m getting from the media. A few years ago, I thought that “hacking somebody” or “hacking” in general meant gaining access to a computer that was not yours without permission. Malicious activities usually followed suit. A lot of people I know, both young and not, used hack in this way for quite a while. Recently, however, I’ve noticed that the media uses the word to mean pretty much any computer activity that is not browsing the internet or using Microsoft Office.7 For example, at the Computer Science Club at my school, we received a call a few weeks ago from some woman who was looking for computer help. She had somehow gotten some nasty computer virus, and she was looking for this group of programmers at my school whom the media were calling hackers to help her fix her computer “because they knew how to hack”. I have absolutely no idea which definition of hack she was using. For all I know she was seeking specifically their help because she thought that these kids were proficient wood cutters and that this somehow extended to being able to rid computers of malicious software. I don’t know. But the media calling them hackers left room for somebody to become extremely confused, and somebody did exactly that. Programming conventions are now also called “Hackathons,” which makes some people think they’re something they’re not. Including me. The first time I heard of a “Hackathon” I thought it was when a whole bunch of hackers, both experienced and new,8 convening in a building to hack stuff, be it the same thing or not. It turns out I was wrong.9 Hackathons are actually events where people who like to program computers convene and make stuff, usually under a similar category or for a prize of some sort. These events are beginning to get quite large, meaning that they get more media coverage. Now that the media’s there AND the event is called a Hackathon, everybody there is a “hacker”. Unfortunately for these people, this adjective is not always viewed in the most positive light.10
Here’s a bit of a summary of what it all means (at least to me)11:
| Thing that happens | Meaning |
|---|---|
| I say “I’m hacking Gran Fran’s computer.”12 | I’m gaining access to information on Gran Fran’s computer to which I do not normally have access. |
| *the media calls me a hacker and I HAVE NOT been arrested* | I was programming something. |
| *the media calls me a hacker and I HAVE been arrested* | I got caught gaining access to information on Gran Fran’s computer to which I do not normally have access. |
| I say “I’m going to go hack *object of non-computer variety*” | I’m going to go hit *object of non-computer variety* with a hatchet. |
| I say “I’m going to go hack *object of computer variety*” | see first row |
Like many things in this language,13 the meaning of the word is entirely context-dependent. Sometimes the context provides two definitions and is ambiguous about which one it means, though, and then you’re right screwed. The moral of the story is we should take away the media’s right to use loosely-defined words. It only makes them worse.
0.1 All browsers other than Internet Explorer are acceptable. This end note is also a hint at what next week’s topic will be. Maybe. I might change my mind.
1 About six of them, to be precise.
2 I’m not sure if this is still the most common used of the verb, considering how the media misuses it.
3 I was going to tell you all of its roots, but there are so many and it seems like nobody’s really sure, so I’m just going to skip that part.
4 Or other things, I suppose. Would you still call someone a hacker if they were hacking at something not made of wood with a hatchet? Like a person? Or a misbehaving computer?
5 When used in the latter sense, it’s actually an abbreviation for “Hackney”, which was a word for “an ordinary horse”. It is believed that this word comes from the place Hackney, in Middlesex. Is there an Uppersex, too? What about a Lowersex?
6 I’m not actually entirely sure if people have stopped using hack as a derogatory adjective or noun yet. I just don’t recall ever hearing it used in such a way, so since I’m a know-it-all young person it must no longer be used in this way which is completely foreign to me.
7 I’ve omitted a few things here, but you get the idea.
8 See now I have to clarify which definition I’m using. This time I mean somebody who makes a habit of or has a history of gaining access to somebody else’s computer without explicit permission. That’s usually the definition I mean.
9 First time since 1973.
10 Especially if the people judging you are from, say, the United States Department of Defence (USDoD or DoD), the National Security Agency (NSA), the Office of Terrorism and Financial Intelligence (TFI), the Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A), the Transportation Security Administration (TSA), the US Border Patrol (USBP), the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Interpol, Communications Security Establishment Canada (CSEC), the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS), Financial Transactions and Reports Analysis Centre of Canada (FINTRAC), the Canadian Border Services Agency (CBSA), or the Canadian Forces Intelligence Branch (DND). (DISCLAIMER: This list is not all-inclusive. It may omit several agencies which would judge people negatively for having the term “hacker” associated with them. This is just the list of groups that sometimes interfere with malicious hackers)
11 I’m excluding the things I have deemed disused. If you have a question about a specific sentence, send it my way and I’ll try to decipher it.
12 I’m not.
13 English is a pretty sorry excuse for a language in several respects.
Potentially fun exercise (disclaimer: I have not tried it and cannot guarantee any level of entertainment from this): reread my blog post, using only the Hackney definition of hack.
Simon At School 
Read your post while I was having away at some new trim for the guest room. Did you know that journalists are (were?) often called hacks? Great post! But really, I just had to say this: I’ve never heard of Uppersex or Lowersex, but there’s an Essex and a Wessex and a Sussex. I don’t know where Norsex went. England’s funny that way.
Nice piece, SImon. You are a master of footnotes!Jonathan is right, from the 18th century on, anyone who churned out prose of questionable merit was called a hack. Usually this referred to pulp fiction, true crime or romance, but was also applied to journalists (and ought to apply to most bloggers today). It has its roots with our Hackney horse friends, but I think the more complete meaning of a hackney horse was that it was a moderately good beast for hire. Thus, anyone so common as to want money for words, was not a lot better. If you slap on a Jitney (to the horse, not the writer, then you have a taxi service, and they, too, were called hacks and sometimes taxi licenses are still called hack licenses. And the way they drive, could, charitably be though of as a hack in its own right. Great word, this.